The way my mind works at 2 a.m.

This is a true story and you will get a good laugh out of it. I had to laugh at myself so it is okay for you to see the humor of this.

Last night was a very windy/rainy night. With a metal roof, I get a lot of noise at night during these storms. It is very hard to sleep when your roof sounds like it is going to blow off or get beat to pieces from the weather. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep last night.

But at 2:00 this morning, as I lay there awake, the wind eased up and the rain had quit. When all of a sudden I heard an outside noise that startled me. Six loud pops. Now this is where you will see how crazy my mind works....

My first thought was who is sitting off fireworks at 2:00 in the morning....on a weekday....in April? Then I realized there was no lingering echo of fireworks. So I decided some moron was sitting off basic firecrackers. I counted. There were six extremely loud, evenly spaced, precise pops. So then I thought that was a little loud for just a basic firecracker and why set off six in a row? 

Then, I thought "You know that actually sounded like six shots fired from a pistol. One right after the other. Then I remembered the old western where handguns were called six-shooters. And I thought "Six shots or six firecrackers?" Then I was afraid to get up and look out to see if I saw anything....like smoke from the firecrackers or a dead body. 

Then I thought "Should I call 911?" just in case it was a gun. But what would I say? I heard a noise that might or might not have been a gun that was outside at my neighbors house but I can't really tell you which neighbor because I'm in bed.

Then I remembered I have no voice so they couldn't have heard me if I did call them. So they would have freaked out and with my luck just heard the word "gun" in my conversation so then police would fly to my house, guns a blazing and burst in my door to see what was going on. At 2:00 in the morning. 

So then I rationalized that if it was firecrackers, so what. No harm done. And if somebody fired six bullets that doesn't mean anybody was hurt. Could just be somebody drunk and trying out a new pistol. Plus I just read a book where a man saw a murder and had to go in a witness protection program and I didn't want that to happen to me. 

So I decided that I have a very strange mind and just went back to sleep.